September 15, 2008
Feeling Green
Man it feels hard today. The jealousy I feel towards all those surrounding us that still have their babies is pretty intense. It's so hard when you tell yourself not to feel something, but you just can't help it and it hits you like a ton of bricks. It literally feels like someone has kicked me in the gut. It just feels like more than I can bear right now... I can't do this.
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5 comments:
Oh, I love you so much and i am so sorry.....i've found myself doing the same thing. seeing kids who are about one and thinking "why couldn't abram be here to be this age, what would he be like...."i'm so sorry and i just want so badly to be there for you both....
Jamie-
Let yourself feel that way. It is a real part of grieving. I would avoid situations because it was so hard. I am sorry. I want to help, but not sure how. If you need me, let me know. Take care
I'm glad to hear you be so honest about feeling this way. When I'm around you and Josh, I feel guilty because our kids are still with us and the unfairness of it all is so overwhelming. Especially unfair because parenting has been such a struggle for me and you you guys are so completely natural in that role. As a person who you may feel green around, let me say that it benefits me to know that you feel this way because it make me want to be a better parent to honor the parents that you and josh are and to honor Abram as well. Please allow yourself to feel this way. Nothing about this is fair. Love you both!
i feel green and guilty.
I am so sorry Jamie!!! I wish I knew how to ease your burden. I love you and always will. I am thinking of you often.
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