i ♥ faces

i ♥ faces. i ♥ this face.

New Song (rough draft)

When I sail the mighty dream ship,
I have one harbor in sight.
Little often do I find you there.
Many days, many nights.

I've grown patient with these waters.
I let the current take my drift.
But ungrateful seas have tossed me about,
and turned this gap into a rift.

So I ignore the gale before me,
and I push the ship with stead.
Rendering the storm a tired stalemate.
Welcoming the shore ahead.

Strolling long the lonesome beach line,
searching crevices and caves.
I make a fool when I hear your laugh
in the sound of crashing waves.

Making sense of joy

Up and down the fraying rope
the dreamer gapes at frosts of hope.
Like frozen liquid memory,
he cannot coax his eyes to see.

Pulling blind, he zeros in...
by feel, by thought, by scented wind.
But as the aim is just before,
he cannot grasp it anymore.

Hands let go, he falls apart,
(though happiness is in his heart).
And the icy climb to understanding
leaves him at Confusion Landing.

6 years

It's been six years since Josh and I snuck away and got married at one of our most favorite spots on this earth. I couldn't be happier to have made that choice. I love you so much it hurts babe.

Here's a couple of shots from Bear Lake, on our anniversary. It was absolutely beautiful and serene. Our other favorite spot....

Sucking The Scent Off

Yep... That's what I did.

3 1/2 Min. Pure Joy.

All gone...

i ♥ faces

Here is our entry for the week in the I ♥ faces contest. I love the drool in the original...love those cheeks...love that hair...love that boy.

"Things are falling down on me....heavy things I could not see. When I finally came around, something small would pin me down. When I tried, to step aside....I moved to where they'd hoped I'd be."

I Heart Faces

I have wanted to enter Abram's adorable face in the I ♥ Faces contest multiple times before (thanks for linky Kim!), but have just never seemed to get it done in time. So here goes.... couldn't you just eat that face right up? I so miss the way he would "mmmm" while eating. It was too cute...he's too cute!

Jamie, My Jamie

Today, I am distraught. It has been ten months to the day that we lost our Abram. I see the one year coming up and it chills me. I have spent the past ten months trying to get a grip on this whole thing... it isn't easy. Of course, I know nobody expects it to be. I have put a lot of energy into handling things in a positive way, i.e. reading, writing, soul searching. I have explored philosophy, therapy, music, gardening, and dare I say, religion. I have kept an open mind and an open heart throughout all of this anguish. I have tried to see it all from the vantage point of truth. That it all had to mean something... even if I never figured it out. That somehow, someway, I would be able to walk away from this with something to keep. Something to show for my endurance and will, my capacity to survive. But today I am ashamed to admit I have been searching blindly. I have been looking just slightly off center. I have forgotten what has brought me here to begin with... my beautiful wife, Jamie.

Abram was the best of Jamie and the best of me, but he is gone. Jamie however, is not. Which means the best of her (the part I love the best in him) is still with me. Silly rabbit!

I don't really know how to articulate the depth of my love for this woman, because trust me, I've tried. I do know this... I have never known more tenderness than I know in her. Witnessing her transition into motherhood was astonishing, to say the least. So fluid, so natural. It was as if it were her calling- "World's Perfect Mother"... and she is...

I love you, Jamie! Not only do you put up with me, but you love me in unison. Thank you for the gift of perfect love... and it is...