Dumbo Dream

All I can think about today is that Abe would have made the cutest elephant...ever! Feeling cheated...again. Abram, we are missing you so much we ache.

Brad with his Young Master Abram

This is Brad playing with Abe, or as Brad called him, Young Master Abram. He loved Brad. He was never scared of his big booming voice or his dark, bushy beard. Beware, this video can get you, it did us. Wish it was longer....as always.

In My Head

In My Head

I held you so small
before it all.
I saw the light.
I felt the breath of my dreams
silence the screams
in my head.

Now I hold at most
a baby ghost.
A space I once knew.
I play with emotional toys,
a boy and his joys
in my head

Once mine was all mine,
a place in time
where I used to be.
I bathed in sweet, savory love
sent from above,
in my head.

Now I try to fake
and imitate
the taste of the past.
But my senses are down
my defenses bound,
in my head.

Josh 10-08

daddy's boy and his belly

24 weeks

24 long, miserable, exhausting, intense, shitty weeks. Not feeling very well today. Just saw a new baby come into the office. I got a strange vibe the minute I walked in the office door...the looks like "oh no, what's she gonna do?"...people practically making a wall around the baby like I somehow couldn't see her. Unfortunately, they are right...I broke down...had to go in my office, shut the door and lose it. I feel badly that people can't share their joy with me, but it's the sad, hard truth...I just simply don't have it in me to fake it sometimes. Who am I kidding...most of the time.

treasures

I haven't been blogging cause I have been spending most of my time working on a photobook of Abram. Every single picture that we have in our possession is going in the book. It's turning out to be quite lengthy! I have very few photos of Abram and me, cause I was usually the one taking the photo, so these ones are treasured.

All my love forever Abe,
Mom

Jones Family ~Celebration of Abram~ Sept 21, 2008

It's not often that we are all able to get together. It's even rare during the holidays. We had to capture the moment. I love this picture. We are only missing a few...Grandma Elva, Evan, little Cru (sleeping in the car), and of course our Abe. I think I can speak for everybody there...Abram was with us. Just not in the way we wanted. Nonetheless, it was a beautiful day spent with our beautiful family.

We love you all!

(Pictures to come of our time spent with the Parrish clan!)

This time last year...

Since Abram died, we have been yearning after all those moments we lost...taking him to Oregon, going camping, letting him go barefoot, swimming in Grandma and Grandpa's pool. So many things. But now, we have moved into the time of year that we have experienced with Abram. We had him during fall and winter, we dressed him up for Halloween, we took him up the canyon to see all the leaves changing. Yearning for the lost dreams versus the lost realities is different, but equally difficult. This time of year will never be the same for us...but then again, neither will life.

Aching for you Abram...