Well, I survived my first counseling session. I won't share all the details as to how I found this counselor, but I know now that she is the right one for me. (Thanks Steph!) I thought it may take some time for me to be able to open up but I felt really comfortable with her and laid it all out (poor woman). It felt really good to let it all out, without any reservations of who I might offend or upset. I have to say that I am proud of myself for making this big, positive step towards healing (I hope). Although, I have only been home for an hour since being there and I am already feeling the bitterness build up. Of course, something always comes up.... like learning of others "new arrivals" and happy occasions... it always brings me right back to my bitter self. I really hope that she can help me cope with it all, cause I feel like I am fighting a battle that cannot be won.
(Don't you think Abram looks like me in this picture? I do... I love it.)
9 comments:
I'm so happy that you've chosen counseling. It's a VERY healthy and positive step towards healing and I'm so proud of you for doing it because I know it's not easy. Hopefully she will be able to help with the bitterness, although I can't help but think you have every reason to be bitter. I do think Babram looks like you in this picture. He looks just precious....thanks for sharing. :) love you all!
I think Abram looks like you in every picture. He resembles Josh, but a lot of you. I never tried counseling, but all it can do is help, right?!
The healing is so very difficult and takes so much time. I am really glad you've found a counselor you are comfortable with. It makes all the difference. I had an excellent one after Emma died -- I couldn't have made it through without her.
I don't know what you look like, but I think Abram is absolutely precious in each of his pictures. He reminds me so very much of Emma.
I love you so much! XOXO
I am so proud of you.
Let me know when you need the Tequila. Love you
I'm proud of you and happy for you! I think it's good that you found someone who you feel comfortable talking to - it's not an easy thing to do. I love you.
And, yes, Abe does look like you in that picture. It's the smile - I always loved that photo.
That's a big step and I hope you are able to find some relief and comfort in it. Good luck and as always you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Hi there! I am a silent lurker here, not for very long. First, I am so very sorry that precious Abram was taken form you. No words can express or comfort you, and I fear the loss remains forever. What inspired me to comment is, you will ALWAYS be a mother, Abram's mother. No one and no event can take that from you, ever. I think you need to be more tender with yourself, and allow yourself some slack. You grieve in your way, no one elses. You will come through this, I feel it. And I am praying that God heals your heart, so you may have room to love other children too, because he is going to bless you again and again.
Blessings to you both!
JaneL
J, your baby is beautiful and he does look exactly like you. I am so sorry to hear about everything that you have gone through. I have seen a counselor off and on for years and when you find the right one you just know. And in time you will learn techniques to ease your pain...It will never take it away...but it will help. My partner lost her baby at birth almost 10 years ago. She is the Utah representative for The Miss Foundation. I don't know if you have ever heard of it, but it is a great support network of people from Utah as well as all over the county who have lost a child. She found a lot of comfort in sharing her story and finding others who could truly understand her pain. I would love to catch up sometime. My email address is ryannwebb@gmail.com. Take Care...
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