Probably about a week after Abram's death, I told Josh that I felt like I just couldn't wake up from a bad dream. He told me then that it was opposite for him. He said that to him, our time with Abram was what felt like a dream. As time has gone on, I feel the same way. My memories of Abram feel like dreams. My dreams of Abram feel so real. He feels so close, yet so far. It's so strange.
My dreams have been pretty intense. I have had dreams where he is suddenly back, and we are all running around trying to keep him alive. I have dreamed about finding him lifeless, but when I picked him up, he started breathing again. I dreamed of Abram and Gavin crawling on the grass together, just as they should be. I have dreamed about walking into a room and seeing Abram as a toddler, sitting on a chair eating a cracker. I could see him, but he couldn't see me. It's so hard waking up from those dreams and realizing all over again, that he is indeed gone from us.
Just like our dear sister Rebecca said, "Abram is a physical manifestation of a dream." Those words ring so true. I am just so sad that it only lasted as long as it did.
4 comments:
I've actually had a few dreams about him too. i wake up and tell dale that abram came to say hi to me in my dreams. and thats how it feels. like he just came to say hey to his friend...
I love those good ones too. You are so sweet Mags. Love you, miss you.
I used to have those dreams a lot as well. I hope you are doing well. I think about you daily!!!
Take care!
i havent been commenting because i am sometimes just speachless when i read. i try not to be bitter...because i know that doesn't help...but to be honest, i still am. i think of abe everyday, and wish that him and gavin were on the grass. just remember to breathe this month. love you two.
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