Limerick #1

My journal has a beat of it's own.

It's the heart of my new, sacred throne.

My moments of truth

may seem drug induced,

but I'm simply depressed and alone.

Happy Valentine's Day
to
our Deeper Heart

True

You have given me wisdom,

which I carry through the days.

You have given me smiles,

which I do my best to wear.

You have given me love,

which is my favorite medicine.

You have given me worth,

which justifies my breath.

You have given me mystery,

which I cradle in my arms.

You have given me family,

which is my cup of Christ.

You have given me faith,

which hints of my rebirth.

I love you

I love you

I love you

isolated

I'm with Tricia...not really feeling into bloggy right now, despite the fact I have so much in my head. I just can't seem to get it out here. In an attempt to protect myself temporarily, I am afraid I am isolating myself (yes, more so than usual). It may not seem like the healthiest way to deal, but it feels right to me at least for now. I can't even bring myself to look at Facebook...it's way too scary for me (so please excuse the invitations I have ignored). I am hoping this will change sooner than later. But for now, this is all I can do...an occasional post exposing my not-so-raw feelings and thoughts. It's the raw ones that are causing all the problem...

Session One

Well, I survived my first counseling session. I won't share all the details as to how I found this counselor, but I know now that she is the right one for me. (Thanks Steph!) I thought it may take some time for me to be able to open up but I felt really comfortable with her and laid it all out (poor woman). It felt really good to let it all out, without any reservations of who I might offend or upset. I have to say that I am proud of myself for making this big, positive step towards healing (I hope). Although, I have only been home for an hour since being there and I am already feeling the bitterness build up. Of course, something always comes up.... like learning of others "new arrivals" and happy occasions... it always brings me right back to my bitter self.  I really hope that she can help me cope with it all, cause I feel like I am fighting a battle that cannot be won. 

(Don't you think Abram looks like me in this picture? I do... I love it.)

On this historic day, we are grateful for this bit of hope that our new President bestows upon us. We wish our Abe were here to experience this profound event. We surely would enjoy it more with him, but we can't deny that we do feel hopeful today.

God Bless Barack!

My reason's for getting up each morning

I need to give tribute to our beloved doggies, Libby and Lyle. They have kept some love and warmth in our house, when all else feels lonely and cold.