May 10, 2009

Grace


It's Mother's Day. Just one more childless day for this Mother and Father. I am having a very difficult time knowing what to do or say for that broken heart that lives here. It seems as though there is nothing available to smooth this rough edge of reality. It must be hard for Jamie to hear from people that "they know how hard this day must be for her". Because they simply do not. Nobody knows how hard this day is for Jamie except Jamie. But one thing is clear, and must not go unsaid. In her 7 months of mothering, she dwarfed the competition.

My Mom gave Jamie a very sweet card in which she mentioned Jamie's "grace". I found that word to be more than appropriate. I couldn't think of a better word to describe her flawless, fluid, loving embrace of parenthood. It was the Mother in Jamie that truly brought out the Father in me. Sometimes Jamie goes through moments of regret from being frustrated with Abram. I do, too. What parent doesn't get frustrated with their child? But in retrospect- she has nothing to regret. I remember when she found out she was pregnant, there was some fear. But that moment quickly passed and Jamie knew that she was going to do everything right. She invested so much time in educating herself on the safest, healthiest, most natural way to bring this child into this world. I watched her push for 5 excruciating hours with NO drugs, only to have her realize that he wasn't coming the way we planned. I remember how crushed she was. It was heartbreaking. Most women can only think about getting the baby out. Jamie was just sad. But that didn't stop her. She did what she had to do just so she could finally hold her son. And I remember that moment, too. Priceless...

Grace. Mom and Dad Parrish, you should have named her Grace. But then she wouldn't be Jamie. The Jamie we all love and admire. The Jamie that can care for the youngest babe and comfort the frailest of the elderly. The Jamie that's dedicated to the preservation of love, even when love is lost. The Jamie that people look at and wonder "how is she doing it?". The Jamie that brought this world our sweet Abram. The Jamie that makes me who I am.

We love you, Mommy!
All of us.

5 comments:

Maggy said...

Happy Mothers Day, to a wonderful, beautiful, caring Mother. Love you.

Jenn said...

We had that, too! Regrets about what you could have done differently. If only I had held him instead of letting him cry it out... But, I think you are right, it comes with the parental territory, and I can tell you by the pictures that I see of Abram, that Jamie should have no regrets. You have the smilest and happiest angel!!

Aunt Beth said...

I don't think there could be more perfect words to describe such an amazing mother.
Jamie, you continue to be a beautiful inspiration to me -

Love You.

Soontobemoser said...

Love you is all I have to say. Josh said everything perfectly, and exactly how I feel. In the dictionary grace is described as: a seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form----- so true on every level.

Anonymous said...

Joshy your truthful and beautiful words brought tears to my eyes that won't stop flowing. I've known many wonderful mothers in my life, and Jamie was, absolutely, born to be a mother. I love you so much, Jame!! You are an inspiration to all of us Childless Mothers. XOXOOOOO